Children

Children are the continuation of  our genes on this planet.  We cannot be considered successful at that goal until they have kids of their own.  In that mission, we need to make sure they meet a few criteria.  1.  They have to survive.  This means that no matter what they do, you have to save at least one for future breeding.  If you only have one or two, in the heat of the moment, pause long enough for them to draw straws if there’s no clear winner.  2.  They have to be socially well adapted enough to find someone to have children with.  This means that you want to avoid repeat appearances on Jerry Springer or Dr. Phil.  Once may be ok, but just don’t become the pinch hitter for these shows when the ratings are low and they need sensationalism.  3.  They must be healthy.  They can’t just barely survive.  This means proper hygiene, food, water, the whole shebang.  A little exercise and sports might help.  4.  They need to be self-sufficient enough to support the family.  While being a baby-daddy may be a successful reproduction strategy, if your kids pull it, you either never meet the grand kids and know you’re successful, or you’re now the baby-daddy supporting the degenerate’s kid in their absence.  That’s when you call out the drones and track him down.  Needless to say, yes Whitney, the Children are our future.  Let’s just hope we’re bright enough to get it right.

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